Resilience is Beautiful

More than the ability to push your limits and force your circumstances to improve, resilience keeps beauty and humor close at hand. A tendency to laugh at your mistakes in the moment of realization is a clear sign that you've built up some resilience and won't crumble too easily, as is a consistent ability to pause in appreciation of beauty at least once each day even when very little seems to be going well for you. Life will bend and twist around all of us, as our elders have warned for generations, and only the measure of our ability to gracefully accept such turbulence while maintaining gratitude for each little bit of goodness we recognize can accurately predict how happy we will be in the best, worst, and most mundane of times throughout our lives.

Part of learning resilience is focusing your efforts on what depends on you, and not fretting about what you can't change. You can't necessarily control whether or not your supervisor is a reasonable person, but you can make sure that you are following the rules at work to the very best of your ability. You can't control the weather, but you can make sure to wear shoes that are more appropriate for the day's weather than your favorite type of footwear. Traffic is certainly not in your control, but you can make sure to leave a few minutes early when you have somewhere to be at a very specific time. Other people's choices are not within your control, but how you respond to them is mostly something you can regulate. How much money you can earn isn't always within your control, but how wisely you spend it generally is. Exactly when a goal is reached isn't an easy thing to control, but whether or not that goal is something you consistently work toward is entirely up to you. A percentage of health difficulties are a simple matter of luck, but you can take care of the basics and prevent a large swath of other ailments. Exactly how long you'll live isn't fully within your control, yet we know that certain food and exercise habits are very good at keeping us healthy and fit well into old age. Who stays in your life isn't entirely up to you, but enjoying some time with people who like hanging out with you when possible is within your reach, as is joining a nonprofit group as a volunteer to help others while expanding your social circles.

Not everything in my life or even in my body is within my control, but I can regulate my responses to what happens. I can continue to aim for a better income and a better living situation, in spite of setbacks, in the aftermath of disappointments, and in the best interests of myself and my children. As I aim for better, you can also aim for better in your life.

When you're ready, come back for steps you can take to build up your resilience.